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7/7/2008 Cooking SegmentHey ya'll!
I've added my first cooking segment to my website. It was Adam's girlfriend's birthday yesterday, so I made her a birthday cake and have posted the recipe.
PLEASE drop by and let me know what you think!! I'm seriously looking for constructive criticism here friends. Anything I can do to perk the site up and make it more interesting and inviting.
Let me know what you think. WWW.YELLOWJEEPBLONDE.COM
See you there!!! . . . . i hope.
7/5/2008 Happy 4th of July Weekend!
Hey ya’ll! I sure hope that you all get to participate in some form of fun outdoor activity, grillin’, drinkin’, swimmin’, partyin’ and oooin’ over some fabulous fireworks this weekend - not necessarily in that order. And by all means, be careful! But do have a good time. Me - I’ll be chillin’ by my pool . . . drinkin’. . . swimmin’. . . and cookin’ something fabulous. Pretty low key really, but fun nonetheless. I’ll take pictures, of course, and share. Later. . . . 7/3/2008 Today's Thursday - MY FridayHappy 4th of July people!! A long holiday weekend! Yay!
It's that AND Adam's girlfriend's birthday weekend too. She'll be 21 and legal. So I'll be baking a cake and making a birthday dinner for her on Sunday. I've already bought her present, so I don't have to shop. Other than that, you'll have to stretch your imagination about what else I'll be doing. Go ahead and give it a try. Guess. Dangit, ya'll are gooooooood. Yep - I'll be at the pool.
There's a pool guy that comes to the pool every three hours to check the water (Some weird city rule - making sure nobody's pee'd in the pool, I guess) and he asked me if I lived there. I said that one HAS to live there in order to have access to the pool. He said, "NO. Do you live AT the pool?" Me - "OH - well, sorta." Cuz I'm there every single day. If I'm not at work or at the grocery store, that's pretty much where you'll find me.
It's been a good pool year so to speak. Each year is a bit different with the movings in and out of the condos. The crowd of faces change. But my mug has been hanging out there for 13 summers. They ain't gettin' rid of ME. . . OR my cooler. It's been hot too. Apparently, it's been hot everywhere. Sweltering hot. So I've spent a great deal of time IN the pool rather than lounging BY the pool. It's eight shades of hot if you see ME get IN the pool.
Let's see. . . what else have I been doing this summer? Oh yeah - working on my own website. (Only after the sun goes down) I've made websites before, but I was using a different software that's pretty much obsolete anymore. This time I'm going with Wordpress and finangling my way through widgets and plugins and html. It's been fun! I've got a lot more stuff to do to it to fancy it up. It's what the geeky side of me likes to do in my spare time when I'm not poolside with my Miller Lite.
Ooooo Ooooo - speaking of Miller Lite, you've got to go read this guy's blog - Weather Moose. He's got a story about Miller Lite that I just died laughing at. I stumbled on his site by accident yesterday, but plan on making him part of my regular blogwalk. He's hysterical.
Oh yeah - back to my own new site. Would ya'll go by and take a look at it and leave me a comment or seven? I need help with the creative part. It's pretty boring esthetically right now because I lack the creative skills. If ya'll tell me what it needs, I can figure out how to make it work. But I am totally creatively challenged. Go to www.yellowjeepblonde.com - yeah, I know, again with the creatively challenged thing. That's as original of a name as I could come up with. And let me know what you think so far. Thanks!!!!
Ya'll have a great weekend!!!
6/24/2008 Death and TaxesYou've heard the old adage that 'nothing is certain except death and taxes'. Well, dammit - there's been a lot of Death lately. All the old greats from back in the day when I was a kid. The comedians. They're all passing away. Harvey Korman passed away a few weeks ago. He used to keep me in stitches when he'd do his skits with Tim Conway. No one could keep a straight face.
Now I'm totally sad to hear that George Carlin has died. Chris and I just saw him in concert about a year or two ago here in town. Sure, he was older and grayer, but he was still funny as Hell. Razor sharp wit. This here is classic George Carlin from back in the day.
These guys have been entertaining the masses since I was a kid. Now they've died. Aging sucks!
My ex husband's birthday is today. He's 49. To me, he's still 25. . . with gray hair. I remember his DAD'S 49th birthday. How is it that we turned into the old people? It seems like it happened overnight.
My sister recently sent me a picture of her ex husband whom she ran into. I haven't seen this guy in more than ten years, so it was stunning to see how much he'd aged. He's an attorney in Texas now and doing quite well for himself. He was always a decent looking guy. But I thought "Wow - so it's not just me that this age thing has happened to." He looked old. And he's younger than my sister.
My sister, however, has never aged. Not a day. She whines about a wrinkle here and there, but I'm sure that's taken care of pronto. It's hard to keep up with that. So I don't try.
I'm just a 25 year old in an old lady body. Damn gravity.
6/20/2008 Back from the DeadHellllllooooooo!!
I think I may actually LIVE. Wow! I really don't like to whine and moan when I'm sick, but dang!!! What the Hell! I just got knocked completely on my butt. I lost complete days. . . .and seven pounds. I call it Donna's New Rapid Weight Loss Program. It doesn't come highly recommended, but it does guarantee results or your money back.
Three days into it, I could finally stand vertical long enough to walk to the car without having to carry a porta-potty or a barfbag with me and I went to the doctor. Have I mentioned how badly I hate doctors? Quacks at this clinic by my house. He said I had a "virus that's going around". I said, "I hate it when ya'll tell me that." How generic can you get? Then he added that I had a kidney infection. Me - "Where did THAT come from?" My face all squinched and confused - not expecting that one. I'd half expected him to say that I'd been poisoned in some diabolical setup of some sort. I never expected anything wrong with my kidneys. He asked me if my lower back had been hurting me. I said, "Are you kidding me? My WHOLE BODY has been hurting. How could I narrow it down to just my back?"
So the story goes. The virus totally dehydrated my body. Dehydration is the worst thing that can happen to your kidneys, especially if they're infected. So I get an antibiotic for the infection. But I can't take my stomach medicine because it counteracts the drugs or something like that. [Medical jargon blows every circuit I've got in my brain] In the meantime, my stomach is completely raw having been eaten up by stomach acid for three days, yet I can't take anything for it until I'm done with the antibiotics. Nice. So even though I'm feeling much better, my stomach is in agony everytime I eat.
Speaking of which, I just ate my first full lunch since last Friday. It was New Orleans Seafood. [Mild, flaky tilapia is topped with spicy Creole seasonings and broiled, then finished with sautéed shrimp and Parmesan cream sauce. Served with fresh, steamed broccoli and garlic mashed potatoes.] Hmmmmm. (I've had it before so I knew that it wasn't really as spicy as you'd think) It was very delicious, but because I was eating like a starving homeless person, I ate WAY more than I should have. My poor little stomach is still delicate. . . and smaller than normal. So I'm miserable now. I just keep reminding myself of how much I enjoyed it while I was eating it.
Okay - no more sick talk. Did you know that June 20 is supposed the be The Happiest Day of the Year? Yep - that's what they say. According to some British researchers, they have a proven scientific formula that determined this. O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He. Within that, O stands for being outdoors and outdoor activity, N for nature, S for social interaction, Cpm for childhood summers and positive memories, T for temperature and He for holidays and looking forward to time off. gOSH, That gives me the warm and fuzzies just thinking about it. I know that I, in particular, feel good today. Pretty happy about that. Plus the weather is absolutely gorgeous. Besides being stuck in the office all afternoon, I don't think I could be much happier. Well, except to have a cold beer in my hand while lounging by my pool. But I'll be there soon enough.
Are you happy today?
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!! 6/10/2008 Hot or Hot? That's the Choice!Weather fascinates me. It fascinates me to the point of pure mystery. I should have been a weathergirl. Maybe more specifically, a meteorologist. I don't want to be the goofus in front of the camera spouting out the generic "there's a 20% chance of rain today" just to cover my butt. For MY weather forecast, I just look out the window. Because around these parts, that's how it is. Our weather stations broadcast to about a 200 mile radius, so yes, while Richmond, VA could indeed be having severe thunderstorms, we here around Norfolk could be having completely sunny skies. Add to the fact that weather changes on a dime around here.
I wouldn't make a very fun weathergirl. I'd be saying things like "Come on, now for your weather report! Open your window. Look outside. That's it. It MAY rain. It MAY not. It may be cloudy, or it may not. Just stick around, whatever kind of weather you like best will be around in a few."
Outside today is HOT! Yesterday was HOT! The day before that - HOT! You're getting the picture. It is unnaturally hot for this time of year. 101F degrees/38C degrees with a heat index (what it feels like) of 119. Heck, it was cold up until about three weeks ago. I had waited till the end of April to even plant my garden because it was so cold out. NOW my poor flowers are screaming "We're meellltttiinnngggg!" Some have just leaned over and gave up. I went out to water them Saturday morning before I'd planned to go to the grocery store. It had not hit 100 degrees yet, but it was toasty and I thought that I'd just water them real quick before I left. Well. . . in the 15 - 20 minutes that I was out there, I was not fit to go ANYWHERE in public. My head was dripping sweat into my eyes, my t-shirt was completely soaked, and I needed to change my undergarments. (I wasn't powdery fresh anymore) I was drenched from head to toe. When I was rolling up my waterhose, I had to go inside and sit down twice because I thought I was going to pass out. Good grief, it was HOT!
Well, when I finished with what is normally not a big deal job, I was feeling quite worn out. So I opted instead of showering and changing clothes to forego the grocery shopping (food is overrated anyway) altogether and go jump in the pool. So that's what I did. It was fabulous!!
Since it was so hot out, I thought I'd heat up the inside too. What a moron I was. Ya see, last week I had made this breakfast casserole that I got off of Pioneer Woman Cooks site and it bubbled over in my oven like nothing you've ever seen. It looked like I had just poured a whole stick of butter onto the bottom of my stove. There was so much smoke filling my house that it resembled Cheech and Chong's hippy van. I made a mental note that I needed to clean said oven. But I'm old and I forgot. Do you forget? I forgot. I turned the oven on Monday night to preheat and "Whoof" - there came the plume of smoke. Yikes! I thought my house was going to burn down.
All this leads up to the fact that I had to break down and actually clean my oven. Could I have decided to do this on the HOTTEST day of the year?
I had never used one of those built-in Clean settings before. I had no idea how it worked. I broke out the instructions and it looked way too easy. Wipe up the main crap off the bottom, then turn the knob. Easy.
HOWEVER - I did not realize that basically the oven heats up to unbelievable temperatures for about 4-5 hours and burns it all off. I couldn't walk into my kitchen. I could feel the heat. Oh and the smell. That was nice too. So I had two choices: 1) stay inside in the heat and the 'stank', or 2) go outside in the heat and the pool. Guess which one I picked! Go ahead. Pick.
Dammit, ya'll know me toooooo well. Outside I went. Four hours and six beers later, I came home and my oven was clean as a whistle. Awesome!! I may actually clean it more often, but I'll try to schedule it for a cold, rainy afternoon when the heat would be welcomed next time.
6/4/2008 One Sunny Day At A TimeI realize how remiss I've been in blogging, but there are only a handful of people who read this anyway. For those of you in that handful, thank you. I have been reading and sometimes commenting on your sites, but I haven't had a lot to say lately. I've been in a quiet place in general.
The summer has started here. The pool is opened. You know what that means. And we have had absolutely beautiful weather for the last couple of weekends. I have been out there totally chillin'. . . sometimes reading. . . sometimes just sittin'. . . deep in thought. I haven't logged into work from home in almost a month. I've read two whole books already and half of two others (that's my Attention Defecit Disorder coming into play), plus about four new cookbooks (I have a freakish problem when it comes to cookbooks) and completed countless Soduko puzzles. It's been rather lovely. . . and quiet.
We are still deeply concerned for our friend, Bill, who had a stroke several weeks ago. He's awake now. Thank goodness! But forward progress is coming in real baby steps. He's lost use of his right side, but I believe he still has his terrific sense of humor under there somewhere (he's not talking yet) because as the story goes, the doctor was in his room trying to evaluate his current abilities and was holding each of Bill's hands asking him to squeeze each. He successfully squeezed the doctor's right hand with his left, but nothing from his right hand. The doctor kept encouraging him to squeeze his left hand with Bill's right hand. Nothing. After the doctor urging him more and more, Bill reached over with his left hand and squeezed the doctor's left hand. They said his eyes twinkled as if he were giggling inside. That story made me smile. We're still waiting and praying for Bill. He's got a long, difficult road ahead of him.
I went to see him today for the first time. He's finally in an ICU room where us non-family members can visit. Can I tell you. . . I thought I'd walked into someone else's room by accident. I stepped out and checked the room number and looked for a name on the door. Yep, right one. When I got closer - Oh my goodness - what I saw was a shell of the Bill I know. My heart broke for him.
From what I could gather, since he can't talk, is that he DOES understand who you are and what you're saying. He nods his head to my Yes or No questions, and he smiled at several things I said, and when he does try to speak, it's more of a grunt. Mostly, I think he just feels trapped. . . and incredibly BORED. . .and maybe depressed. I want to help him so badly, but I don't know what to do. I have zero nursing skills and even less than zero understanding of medical terminology. I speak Computer jargon, not one lick of medical jargon. But I SO want to help him. Does anybody have any ideas on what I can do to help him?
On another front - Sadly, our dear dear friend, Mo, lost her daddy this past weekend. She knew it was just a matter of time. We all did. But no matter how well you think that you've accepted eminate death and no matter how prepared you think you are, it's never the case. Mo will miss her daddy deeply.
One of the books I just finished reading was called "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. Some of you may have heard of him. He's been on the news here and there and I believe he was even on Oprah and/or other talk shows. He is a 47 year old college professor from Carnegie Mellon with a wife and three very young children who has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and currently has ten tumors in his liver. And instead of being sad or angry or bitter about his evident early departure, he's living his life with all the might he has in him and preparing his family for a lifetime without him physically in their lives. His Last Lecture was phenomenal. His personal will is phenomenal.
I bring him up because in his book, he wrote this paragraph that made me think of Mo and her daddy.
I heard from a man in his early forties with serious heart problems. He wrote to tell me about Krishnamurti, a spiritual leader in India who died in 1986. Krishnamurti was once asked what is the most appropriate thing to say to a friend who was about to die. He answered: "Tell your friend that in his death, a part of you dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you also go. He will not be alone." In his email to me, this man was reassuring: "I know you are not alone."
As I struggled for my own words to express my sympathies and to comfort my friend and her family, but being so poorly inept at such a gesture, I read this and thought how beautiful his words were. So for my friend, Mo, your daddy is not in pain any longer and he is not alone. He knows how much you love him. He's at peace knowing your heart is with him. You, on the other hand, feel this horrible loss, but he knows you will be alright. He wouldn't leave his little girl until he was certain of that. You ARE going to be alright. You have his heart with you as well.
I love you, my friend.
5/23/2008 One Word AnswersI can't remember where I stole this from. (It's been sitting in my Drafts for awhile now) I think it may have been Undomestic Diva, but I could be wrong. Either way, you should check her site out sometime. She makes me laugh.
This thing looked easy. You just simply answer the questions (and they're easy questions) with ONE word. . . but with the way I talk. . . it turned out to be much more difficult than I thought it would be. It was a challenge to see if I could just "keep it simple". You know - down to ONE word. It could also be labeled as 'therapy' for the talker in me, or 'torture' as I bite my tongue to add on. You see - I'm from the South and we people from the South can't just say 'The house next door'. No - that exact same sentence would come out more like 'That big ole red house next door with the six younguns and eight dogs who ain't mowed their yard in a month a Sundays'. So - you see my difficulty, don't you?
*Remember - just one word answers. It's harder than you think. 1. Where is your cell phone? purse 2. Your significant other? nonexistant 3. Your hair? blonde 4. Your mother? quiet 5. Your father? dead 6. Your favorite thing? beach 7. Your dream last night? work 8. Your favorite drink? beer 9. Your dream/goal? security 10. The room you're in? office 11. Your hobby? work 12. Your fear? poverty 13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? beach 14. Where were you last night? bed 15. What you're not? pretensious 16. Muffins? sshhh 17. One of your wish list items? smarts 18. Where you grew up? mississippi 19. The last thing you did? work 20. What are you wearing? smile 21. Your TV? off 22. Your pets? Monkey 23. Your computer? which? 24. Your life? undetermined 25. Your mood? cheerful 26. Missing someone? nah 27. Your car? Jeep 28. Something you're not wearing? watch 29. Your summer? awesome 30. Like someone? who? 31. Favorite color? yellow 32. When is the last time you laughed? earlier 33. Last time you cried? hmmmm? 34. Your favorite blogger IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD? list Go ahead and copy and paste and try to fill in your answers. If you're from north of the Mason Dixon line, it surely won't be a problem. Have a great holiday weekend!!
5/21/2008 Holy CrapWow! Where does time go? I had no idea that it had been three weeks since I last posted. I actually have a few things in Draft mode that I started then never finished. It's been like that. My life. Half-witted. Half here. The other half not.
I just don't think I can fully convey how "out of it" I've been. I knew that this past couple of weeks were going to be rough, but I had no idea how horrible I would feel once they were over. You'd think I'd be breathing a big sigh of relief because now my 12-14 hour days are over - kaput - finitO. But me? Noooooo! Not me. I mean, I was sad losing my biggest and bestest customer, but then my mood changed to bordering insane hostility back to "I'm fine" (said while smoothing down my ruffled feathers). So why was I mad NOW? I have no idea. But then, my emotions have never run anything close to normal anyway.
When my youngest son was eight years old, he had an accident with a fish hook where this fish hook was introduced directly to his eyeball. I know - every mother's worst nightmare. But me - I was a rock. The whole week he was in Children's Hospital, I was solid. I didn't want to show any fear or emotional upset because I didn't want to scare my baby anymore than he already was. (By the way, he was a rock also) But the day after we got home from said hospital, I woke up and BAWLED. MY. EYES. OUT.! I mean, it was like a waterfall bawling. Hysterical. I couldn't believe what we had just been through and were going to be going through for the next three months as his eye healed.
I've been in car wrecks that would shake me to the core, but again, it wouldn't affect me until I was in the safety and comfort of my home - and alone. Then I would fall completely apart.
So I guess that explains why I'm now totally furious that my biggest and bestest customer tossed me aside like yesterday's newspaper. . . after I'd given them the best five years of my life. Bastards. It's like getting a divorce. At first I was sad. . . then I was just plain PISSED OFF. . .then I get over it. End of story. Now carry on.
Another emotionally jarring incident has happened this past couple of weeks as well that has shaken up my household. My oldest boy's best friend that he's worked with for the last six or seven years had a massive stroke last Tuesday morning. This man is one of the "good ones". He doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke. He's a deacon in his church. He's a good family man. He's a total sweetheart. And he's cute (but married, dangit). It is so hard to believe what has happened to him. This guy is MY age for crying outloud!! I joke about being old and all, but when it comes down to it, I really don't believe that I'm "stroke age" old. I know it can happen at any age, but in MY mind, it only happens to old people. And we're not THAT damn old! He and I.
I'm terribly saddened for him and have been prayin like never before. Chris even went to church. This guy is going to KNOW how hard Chris is taking this when he finds out that he went to church. He's been trying to get him to go to his church for years.
Poor Mr. Bill.
Other than the emotional roller coaster ride I've been on, I got nothing else. I'll get back in the groove soon. I never stay down for long.
4/30/2008 Spring GardenFinally, I think Spring may be here. It's still a little cool out for the end of April, but this past Saturday was gorgeous! And I just HAD to go out to play. It's in my DNA. If the sun is out, I must go out. So I tackled my garden. Two trips to the nursery was all it took. (well, I need to make one more trip. but then, I should be done) When I'm completely finished, I'll take pictures. But for now, I just have these. . . of my encounter with the newest neighbor in the area. Meet Lizzie. Can you see her? She and a friend came by to check out what the ruckus was in the neighborhood.
See - As I was laying out the flowers to see how I wanted to arrange them, I saw something slither past me. Lordie, I thought it was a snake at first. (Did you hear me scream?) But then I saw LEGS. Whew! I yelled for Chris to go get my camera. Since he has a TOTAL fascination with lizards (it must be a boy thing), he was happy to oblige. See the little buggar there trying to blend in with the dead bush? (drought last year killed my bush) She had a friend with her too, but he was too fast. She actually stopped and stood right there for quite awhile. Blending. That's how she rolls.
There she is. . . closer. That sucker was about eight inches long. That's a woman's version of 8 inches - not a man's version. teehee And she was fat. Sorry, Lizzie. I just tell it like I see it. She could be 'with child', who knows.
Here you can barely see her buddy as he scurried across my sidewalk and into my rocks right at the edge of the bottom step. (yeah I know - I've got more work to do to those rocks - cut a girl some slack)
Now after being totally distracted for awhile by my little slithery friends, I did finally finish planting all my flowers. That was a lot of work!! What was I thinking? I bought mostly these Gerbera daisies, a couple of Salvias (i think that's how you spell it), a couple of Impatients, a half a dozen Petunias, a tomato plant, a jalapeno plant and a large Mandevilla that I got for a steal. I tell ya. . . I was in the right place at the right time for that one. Standing in the checkout line with my second round of daisies, a guy came and put a sign on these plants next to me marking them down from $22.00 to $2.49. WTH! The man in front of me and I both were looking at the sign then each other like it couldn't possibly be right. Then worker dude came back and put an identical sign on the pallet next to it and I asked him about it. He said, "Yes. It's right. They wanted me to throw them out, but I thought I'd try to get a little something for them." Me - "Why? Why throw them out? They LOOK healthy." He - "They don't have any blooms on them. Plants with no blooms don't sell." Well, let me tell YOU. . . I don't even know what a Mandevilla bloom looks like, but for $2.49, I'm going to find out!! Heck, my tiny little daisies were $3.29 each.
But aren't they gorgeous!?! I love the color!! They're not really RED and they're not really ORANGE. They're red-orange. Deep tangerine. Beautiful! And I've got two dozen of them.
When I finish with the rock portion of my garden, I'll take more pictures. I'm waiting on one of my strong, young sons to help me with that part. Chris has already helped me with one side, but I'm expanding to the other side this year, so I need more. It helps so much with the drainage, plus it looks really pretty too. Apparently, my new little slithery friends like them as well.
Lizards don't eat daisies, do they?
4/29/2008 No Tornado, Thank YouWow - yesterday was certainly unusual around here. Tornados scattered all over the place. Where I come from (Mississippi), we got hit with tornados fairly frequently. (something about location) But around here, not so much. I live in what they call Hampton Roads. It's a clump of several cities all mushed together (Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Portsmouth, Suffolk). You can't tell where one stops and the other starts. It's just one big giant city to me. And Suffolk (the western part of the clump) got nailed with tornados yesterday! Cars tossed around like Tonka toys. A strip mall obliterated to shreds. Houses. . . well. . . look at this house.
That front wall looks fine. And even the back wall, not so bad. But the middle?!?! It's very strange how a tornado works. I feel so bad for the people who's lives are upside down right now. But I tell ya, there are so many people trying to help that they announced on the radio that people need to stay away for now. Too much chaos and confusion.
On a much lighter note: Here is something I stumbled across and thought was pretty funny. It's supposed to be a list of questions that every man laminate, keep in their wallet for referral and should learn so they are prepared for those few "special days of the month". Even though I haven't had a "special day" since 1991, I still thought it was pretty funny.
I particularly like the "Here, have some more wine." That would work for me.
Totally at random. . .and for something a bit different. . . cuz that's how I roll. . . What is your architectural personality? I knew I fancied margaritas for SOME reason.
You're a lively Spanish Colonial!Like a Spanish Colonial home, you are warm with an eye toward the romance of living. While you are traditional and can be a little introverted, you are also enlivened with impulsive flairs of color that amuse and energize your friends and family. Spanish Colonial homes take a simple construction style and add artistic details like painted tiles, iron fixtures, and huge carved doors denoting, like you, a love of art and individuality. Your combination of down-to-earth fun and elegance puts everyone at ease.
I think that's a pretty fair assessment of me, don't you think?
And finally. . . a big shout out to my brother!! He still lives down south and is about as BIG a redneck as they come, but I love my brother. AND it's his birthday today!!! 45 big ones!! How the hell did he get that old? To me, he's still 16. For one thing, that's how old he was when I left home and another. . . well, that's how old he acts too. He's just a big kid! And I love my brother!!
4/23/2008 Color Me a Work in ProgressThat's pretty much how I can describe myself right now - a work in progress. However, I'm giving you all fair warning now. I MAY need therapy soon. There are two major changes about to happen in my life and I'm not sure how I'm going to react when they do. It's possible that I'll be just fine, but in all reality, it's more than likely going to be a bit dicey. Either way, I've got a lot to figure out about ME.
1) Those of you that know me already know what a work-horse I am. I've had this one (of two) big customers that I've pretty much let consume my life for the last four years. I have busted my butt every single day to make sure that all of their outlandish demands were met and on time. And they loved me for it. (I love it when people love me) Then the lovely economy in this U.S. started sinking into the toilet and everybody's head in Retail's upper management started spinning. There have been shake-ups and shake-downs and rethinking of marketing strategies and reorganizing budgets and such. Thus the demise of my customer being my customer. They've decided to take another route in their marketing plan - a fresh new route. . . one that does not include me.
 So, in two weeks, TWO WEEKS!, my crazy, hectic, busy (comfortable) world will come to an end as I know it. Chris got laid off as a result, so I'll probably take over his customers. I'm not sure how things are going to be restructured just yet. I just know that I won't be working around the clock anymore and I'm just not quite sure what I'll do with myself.
2) Chris, my oldest, is moving out again in two months. He moved away once for a year, then came back home with a one-year plan to finish school and save some money that turned into a 2 1/2 year plan. (I didn't mind) But now he's just gotten approved for an apartment that he and his buddy will share. He's pretty happy about it because it's right across the street from another group of his friends, so the clan won't have to travel far to hang out together. But that will leave me with an empty nest again. Now I'm going to have to readjust all over. And I don't really know how. The first time, I dove headfirst into redecorating my house. That kept me busy. I cleaned everything OUT! I repainted everything! I replaced all the floors downstairs, new window treatments, etc. And although I'd love to replace my floors upstairs now, I really don't have the money. In fact, I'm a little nervous about that second customer of mine and will hold my breath until they renew their contract this summer. (keep your fingers crossed. . . and anything else you can cross while you're at it) So I'm going to tread very carefully financially until I feel a little more secure in my job.
SO - not only am I going to have to get used to a lot of free time without constantly logging into the office, I'm going to have to get used to my empty house again too. I'm not opposed to living by myself. That's not my problem at all. It's just going to take some getting used to. Afterall, I've had almost 24 years of non-stop something going on in my house. It's just that all these years, I've identified myself as Chris and Adam's mom. When they grew up and didn't need me so much, I started putting all my extra energy into my job - thus resulting in my workaholic identity. SO. . .
NOW I ask. . . What am I going to do with myself? How am I going to identify who I am? What do I want to do now? Why is it that at 47 years old I'm asking myself the same question that I struggled with when I was in the tenth grade. . . "What do I want to do when I grow up?"
I'm sure there are tons of people who wouldn't have a problem with this situation at all - you know, spare time, change of pace. Some probably even dream about it. But me - I don't sit still well. (I might have A.D.D.) Plus, I have this sick and disturbing need to be needed and appreciated all the time. It's what pretty much drives me in everything I do. I know. I'm odd.
I'm actually more sad about my job situation than I am for my house situation. Chris SHOULD move out. He's all grown up. I'll adjust. But my work is my work (It's ME now) and they loved me and DeWitte appreciated me. Now where am I going to get my "appreciation" from? I feel like appreciation is my crack, and I can't live without it. I'm a work addict - an appreciation junkie - looking for my next score. And I'm scared. I don't know what to do.
Oh I know!!
Problem solved. heehee At least I still have my sense of humor.
4/14/2008 Baby Mama (just cuz I like saying it)Wow! WHERE did the weekend go?? I know I'm not in the minority when I say that weekends should be longer. It's all last week's fault though that the weekend felt so short! What a week! For someone who's company has lost their main client thus resulting in office layoffs, I sure have been putting in the hours. And it's really crazy. If I wanted to turn out like Dooce and lose my job, I seriously could spout off my opinion of what's been going on. . . but since I really like having an income and I haven't won the lottery yet, I must chew my tongue like hamburger meat. However. . . . if I implode in the meantime, at least you'll understand why?
On an upnote, I made a trip last weekend to my ex-husband's sister's daughter's baby shower in northern Virginia. You know - sorta like your brother's wife's nephew's best friend's grandmother's sister's son's daughter. Sorry - I got carried away. Anyway, this is my niece, the Baby Mama. (I just like saying Baby Mama)
She - SO adorable! He - the jury is still out.
What can I say? They're a great family and still love me after all these years. THEY love me, but the current wife of said ex-husband apparently not so much. I don't even really know how to relate this story to people who don't know this weird relationship, so I'll give a very brief history. Me - divorced for 17 years. Current wife and ex - together for 17 years (you do the math) and married for about 9, I think. We've all gotten along alright all this time. Not spectacular best buddies or anything, but good on a have-to basis and at family functions. However, for the past couple of years, current wife has been LOSING IT! I'm not kidding. Falling off the deep end. The Thanksgiving story is only the beginning. This particular weekend of the shower was even better than that.
Current wife went up to stay with the sister, the Baby Mama's mom, for the whole weekend. Me - I was just driving up that day. (It's only a three hour drive each way) I got there about a half hour early, rang the bell and heard current wife say "I'll get iiiiitttt". When she saw it was me, I shit you not, she ever so blandly said, "OH" and slooowwwlllyyy opened the door so I could come on in. Not another word. No smiles or hellos. I got "OH". Nice. Of course, I smiled widely and bebopped right on in.
Well, there were tons of happy hugs cuz I hadn't seen everybody since Thanksgiving, and ooohs and aaahs over my shower gift. I had made a diaper cake. I'd seen one years ago and thought what a fabulously creative gift idea for a shower and it's stayed in my little noggin' all this time for just this occasion. I looked it up online to buy one and saw that they cost about $175 - $200. Choke! Cough! Sputter! That was a liiitttllleee too pricey for me, so I instead looked up instructions on how to make one myself. (that's how I roll) And that's what I did - for about $75. THAT'S what I'm talking about. And it is ALL usable stuff: two packs of diapers, five onsies, two pacifiers, large bottle of baby cornstarch, little shampoos, lotions, powders, brush and comb set, baby bottle, teddy bear, and I can't remember what else. But I have to admit that even though I'm fairly crafty, I was very nervous to attempt to make this. Basically because it was a $75 gamble. If it failed, it was going to be a basket full of stuff and would have been much less dramatically appealing. However, it turned out okay. THEY LOVED IT! And that is all that matters.
Before the ride in the Jeep
After it was reassembled in the Jeep It took quite a beating in the Jeep on the way up. I wasn't even through the tunnel (about 15 miles from home) before the teddy bear bought the farm. And I had him TIED on with ribbon! He just couldn't take all the bouncing and toppled right on over. I tried for a few miles to hold on to him, but then decided that it was going to be a long ride and I'd just do damage control when I got there and put it all back together. It still looked a little wop-sided and abit asquew. But that's my fault cuz I didn't project such a tramatic trip for it. It didn't matter though. Everybody there LOVED it!! Carried on and on about it.
Current wife, however, wasn't so crazy about all the attention it drew. Especially since they totally rearranged the table to make it the centerpiece (totally not my intention). I was truly not trying to be mean or nasty or self-centered or anything like that. It was the new Baby Mama's special day (and I adore her). I was just having a good time seeing everyone and I was like little chatty Cathy (if my name was Cathy) and truly enjoying seeing everyone. It's a big family and I love them all, so I was mingling all over the place. When the shower actually started though, current wife had disappeared - nowhere to be found. We all naturally thought that she'd gone upstairs to take a nap (even though we thought it weird, it wouldn't be UNlike something she'd do), but NO. It turns out that she just LEFT. Got in her car and went home. Three hours away. Without saying goodbye to the shower's guest of honor or the hosts or anybody. Very strange behavior. But then that's how bizarre she's been acting for awhile now. I was, however, able to catch a picture of her FINALLY with my new camera with my zoom lense from the other room during the fifteen minutes that she was there after I arrived. I've always tried to get a picture, but she refuses to allow it. Although I understand not wanting your picture taken (cuz I take horribly bad pictures too), I dismissed all of my empathy and my evil side took over my camera and it snapped away. I lost control. Now I could have stopped there and just used this picture for my own viewing displeasure, but I'm not selfish like that. I have to share. I have to show you all what my ex is living with now. Now get yourselves ready. If you frighten easily, look away. Log out now. But if you're not squeamish, just scroll on down and feast your eyes on my ex's current horror. I actually feel bad for him.
YIKES! And I thought that MY turkey neck needed help! Now whenever I feel badly about myself or if I feel a little old or worn out, I have this picture as an easy go-to to perk me right up. I can proudly say with confidence (that's different from conceded) that I aged slightly better than THIS. heehee For those who DON'T know me, you have to understand that I have taken years of this woman bad-mouthing me to everyone who would listen, treating my children like second-class citizens because they're not HER family, and doing everything POSSIBLE to sabotage whatever inkling of a decent relationship that I could have with the children's father. She's one of those women who are nasty and evil with a big smile on their face like "Who me?" Bee-aatch! Well, since my children were young and I was trying to be a role model and not go all Naomi Campbell on her, I held my head high and never said a cross word to her. . . having every confidence that she would get what was coming to her in the end. And I was right!! I was never sure if I would actually get to see her get what was coming to her, but I was sure it would happen. Now - she is LOSING IT and she knows it. I just smile my sweet Southern smile. <evil grin> Now it's back to the salt mines. Happy Monday to all!
4/9/2008 Disorder in the American CourtsMy sister sent me this. She put her ex husband through law school, so she's sorta on top of ALL the lawyer jokes. And I promise you, if you read all the way through to the end, you will totally CRACK UP!
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken/
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at the time/
WITNESS: Uh....I was gettin' laid!
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30pm.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample/
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse/
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see. But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes. It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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